There’s no such thing as a perfect world when it comes to the dating scene; otherwise, there’d be no inspiration for those romantic comedies that I love so much. It usually skews a bit towards the awkward side: deciding what to wear, where to go, and what to talk about. And if you’ve made it through that stressful first date to the second, chances are the “do you have any chronic illnesses that you want to chat about?” question didn’t come up.
There’s no perfect time or way to tell your new significant other about your psoriasis. It has to be a personal choice and has to be when you are feeling comfortable about the conversation. When you do decide that you’re ready to share, plan on having to do some education and be patient when answering any questions they have. They may know someone with psoriasis, but all of our stories are different and that will be incredibly important for them to understand. Speak openly about how it affects your day-to-day life, how it makes you feel, and how things can change based on a bad day or a flare-up.
When I first started dating my husband, my skin was mostly clear and amazingly stayed that way for the first years of our relationship. We had talked about my psoriasis, and he knew that it was a condition that I would always have, but he didn’t truly see the effect until I had a really ugly flare following a very stressful time in my life. The conversations we had previously prepared him for how I would be feeling physically and emotionally. Being open about my psoriasis early on in our relationship made it a non-issue during this timeframe and allowed us to focus on the other important things around us.
Communication and an open dialogue are a major component to any successful relationship and will help your partner in understanding your psoriasis journey. The right person for you will be more supportive than you could ever imagine.